she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh god it's open bar.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
