I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
