Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
