yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
