Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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