just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I just blew my weed a kiss
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
