my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
