why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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