we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Randomize
