The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
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he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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