i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
