pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
