i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
