she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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