she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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