Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
My vagina just recognized that song.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
