I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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