thus making me awesome and them whores
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
