Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Two words: blizzard sex
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I know her cup size but not her name....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
