He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
