we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
