The brown eye won't let me do that either.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
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We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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