All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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