I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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