the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
