he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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