JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
it was like his penis was on wheels.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
