I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
