see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
