Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
