i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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