I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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