Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
