Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
