with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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