She's JV to your varsity
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
