Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him