i jhust puked up my retainher.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dating After Heartbreak
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
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That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left