You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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