I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.