u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"