I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
