either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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