At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
