how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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