Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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