I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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