Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
