I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize