I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I need to calm my uterus...
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
