For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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