you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
