He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
