just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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