Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
