I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
