she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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