Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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