Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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