Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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