All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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