Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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